Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
