remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
