im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
