TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
