Small penises have feelings too.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
