i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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