It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
