# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
