Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
