Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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