You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
