whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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