im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just cut my nipple shaving
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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