Quick, to the slutcave!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
