lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
