dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
