with your own penis?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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