umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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