All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize