So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i came on her dog
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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