i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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