it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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