did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
