were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
