we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
