Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
