Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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