Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
