I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
