wrigley field is MILF paradise
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
