Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize