We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
