Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
