he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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