oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
