I'm really into asian looking animals
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
