Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
