She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
