I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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