Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize