Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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