i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
