We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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