return my video game
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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