Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
should my penis look like a turkey
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
