Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
