To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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