do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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