i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
