i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
