No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
