How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just invented taco cereal.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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