i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
