oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
