Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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