3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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