yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
