I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
