Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
