sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
