i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
